Fresh Blood

A heap of tv newbies are about to be unleashed on the American small screen. Looking for a new show to love? Here's half a dozen that hold promise.*

1. The Borgias

Set in the fifteenth century, this show explores the lives and loves of history's most infamous papal family. Luckily, they're much more exciting than the mob residing in Rome these days. Think corruption, manipulation and power play politics, a la Renaissance-style. Anyone unfamiliar with the Borgias clan should google them. At the very least, be prepared for high drama.

Will Appeal To Fans Of... The Tudors.

Familiar Faces Include... Jeremy Irons.

Also Worth Mentioning... Executive produced by the director of The Crying Game.

2. Camelot

I don't know about the rest of you, but I can never get enough of Arthurian legend. I've been like that since I was a little kid. Mention Merlin, reference Morgana, and I'm there. (I am purposely ignoring any allusion to that bimbo flake Guinevere, btw). This take on the tale looks rough, almost violent. I think they've tried to imbue a sense of passion by creating an aura of grittiness, which bodes well.

Will Appeal To Fans Of... The round table.

Familiar Faces Include... Joseph Fiennes, Eva Green, James Purefoy.

Also Worth Mentioning... Co-creator Michael Hirst wrote the film Elizabeth.

3. Breaking In

Okay, this one makes the list because Christian Slater is in it. Gleaming The Cube and Heathers flash through my mind whenever I see his face onscreen. Oh yeah, I think the show's about hackers. Or something computer-y. I'm guessing it's meant to be kind of funny. Or something. Did I mention Heathers?

Will Appeal To Fans Of... Chuck and Sneakers, maybe?

Familiar Faces Include... CHRISTIAN SLATER.

Also Worth Mentioning... The guy from Pump Up The Volume is in it.

4. Workaholics

Personally, telemarketing depresses me. Also, when someone mentions telemarketing, I can honestly say my immediate response has never once been, 'comedy gold!'. Fools gold, maybe. But this show, focusing on three guys who work together/live together/get wasted a lot, has been scoring a serious amount of hype.

Will Appeal To Fans Of... The Office.

Familiar Faces Include... Um, noone?

Also Worth Mentioning... Started as a web series.

5. Happy Endings

A group of co-dependent friends face social free-fall when the central couple at the core of their cliche break up. This sitcom, like every sitcom tailing half a dozen twenty-somethings, is blatantly dying to be the next Friends. Luckily, the teaser is actually quite funny, suggesting (at least flashes of) decently written, light-hearted humour.

Will Appeal To Fans Of... Friends (duh).

Familiar Faces Include... Elisha Cuthbert.

Also Worth Mentioning... there's a Bridget Jones-type character in the mix (love or hate the stereotype).

6. Game of Thrones

Ah HBO, you continue to deliver. From the network that brought you True Blood and Boardwalk Empire comes a kick-ass medieval fantasy. The preview trailers are pretty wild, so I'm inferring a chunk of cash was spent on the pilot. Since I'm one of the, what, five people who watched Legend of the Seeker (outside estimate), I'll definitely be tuning in.

Will Appeal To Fans Of... The books series, A Song of Ice and Fire.

Familiar Faces Include... Sean Bean, Jason Mamoa from Stargate: Atlantis.

Also Worth Mentioning... Buffy writer Jane Espenson is onboard.

*NOTE: I've skipped mentioning new procedurals, partly because I'm not a fan, but also because you need to see how a cop show handles episodic unfolding of the who-dunnit-factor before making a definite comment or recommendation. It's just one of the quirks of the genre.

A sneaky insert....

...not at all related to television, but my first book Optimate is now available as an ebook for $2.99(US). I generally describe it as cyber-fiction, with a fashion slant? It's available for purchase on Kindle devices and Kindle apps for iPad, iPhone, iPod touch, PC, Mac, Blackberry, and Android-based devices. Here is the link, feel free to recommend x

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004RPXT98

It's No Party The Second Time Around...

Originally considered guaranteed rating winners, reincarnated shows like 90210, V, Melrose Place and Hawaii Five-0 should be now be rated EP... for Epic Fail, that is.

Other possible warnings to include at the beginning of said programs might be:

-This Show Contains Warped Nostalgic Scenes Some Viewers May Find Disturbing.

-This Program Contains Partial Storylines.

-Viewer Discretion Advised. (Actually, there's no pun required here).

Like hooking up with an ex, tv remakes seem a good idea at the time, but tend to end in disaster.

On the surface, the pitch is solid. A show that will appeal to devotees of the original (wave to that ready made fan base), while also drawing in younger audiences, thanks to a jazzy conceptual update.

Win/win, right?

Um, sure. That is, only if you don't think the idea through properly? While the concept seems sound, cracks are there for anyone to see if they bother to glance underneath the glossily produced surface.

Let me break it down for you (with an axe, or something).

Firstly, you're playing the nostalagia card. This is a notoriously fickle part of the cultural psyche to try and tap into. Affection for an old tv show is linked to memories from that period, not to mention the way the show was lit/filmed/edited/written, all aspects which are now (naturally) hopelessly out of date.

Replacing them with new fangled options is non-negotiable, and ultimately crippling. Unfortunately, said production values were an integral part of the nostalgia. By changing the way a show is shot and edited, you effect the feel... and old fans, they want to connect, are expecting to re-connect, to that feeling again.

Set and costume design, are, of course, other elements that have a similar impact on the viewing experience.

Prime example? Seeing the Peach Pit all modernised and cold in the new 90210 sent a chill down my spine. The Peach Pit had a kind of rustic charm in the original Beverley Hills 90210. Besides which, the set design allowed for characters to interact in a cosy way (a little like the couch in Friends, or the booth in Seinfeld).

This was completely lost in the open design of the new version. Worse, it was repelling, as if a memory was being sullied, rather than celebrated.

Likewise, the first V was creepy, and quite fantastic for the period. The new V lacks the best of the old V... gone are the red uniforms and the original Star Wars-inspired special effects. Instead, we have subtle greys and a lot of CGI.

Added to which, there's the complication of modern technology completely reshaping the storyline. Worse, it creates massive plotholes; the basic freedom fighter premise of V can't quite hold up under the deluge of complex surveillance modern audiences are capable of conceptualising.

Creating general storylines for any of these shows also constitutes a problem. Today's versions are comparatively grittier; blunter, even. They need to be, to survive in the current market. I'm not arguing this is better or worse, only that it's different to the tone of the original material. So, yet another core element of ye olde efforte bites the dust.

Piece by piece, you've taken away the main identifying factors of the original program. Sure, you've offered replacement material, none of which is NOSTALGIC- that was your drawcard for this portion of the audience, remember?

At this point, the only real thing connecting fans of the original series to the new show is a base premise- and that's about it. By now, the old school crew, to put it bluntly, are quite pissed off.

Now wave goodbye to ninety percent of the nostalgia market.

Likewise, over in the other camp, new fans are becoming quickly alienated. Why? Because simply put, the series isn't that good. Our modern innovators are hog-tied not just by network input and advertising requirements (like any other show) but also by bloody annoying flashes of nostalgia they're forced to inject wherever they can.

These clumsy moments hamper the show's development, especially for new audiences, who couldn't care less about the past incarnation. Desperate nods to the original series go over their head. Instead, they're left with the impression the show is a bit clumsy, that it stumbles in some sense, and their interest quickly wanes.

Now wave goodbye to a major chunk of the new, younger audience.

Obviously, this doesn't leave a lot of viewers for the show to try and hold. In the hopes of slowing the audience exodus, program creators must define the new 'feel' of the show asap. Unfortunately, this process is marred by the fact they're still forced to juggle the afore-mentioned conflicting elements.

The blunt truth is, rather than helping a program garner ratings, the loaded history of a reincarnated show enfeebles the latest manifestation's ability to maintain the interest of those who were originally drawn in, for whatever reason.

Melrose Place has already been put down. The best performer of the new breed is Hawaii Five-0, but I wouldn't say the show is a sparkling success by any stretch of the imagination. V is near death, and 90210 merely staggers along because it screens on the CW network, which has much lower audience expectations than most American networks.

It might be time to just let the old shows go, and embrace new concepts.

Now there's an idea.